Feeling half in the bottle...

A letter to me

2008-06-30T20:55:00.003+08:00

Dear Me,

Today is one of the lowest points of your life.

I just want you to know that one day, you will look back on this day, and realize that it was nothing.

Remember, someone once told you, you and the sun are alike, you will both shine no matter what.

Love,
Me

.

Say (One Republic)

2008-06-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it

Second chances

2008-05-19T10:11:00.002+08:00

Paul and I are celebrating his second life today.

He had a car accident yesterday that left our car in a total wreck, airbags didnt come out as they should - hello Toyota???

Life is short. Let's live it.

Great Wall of China

2008-04-25T09:03:00.003+08:00

I climbed the Great Wall yesterday!

All by myself!!! :-)

Will post more photos of my Beijing, China trip soon.

Poker

2008-04-18T12:00:00.001+08:00

Last Saturday, April 12, I learned how to play poker. Finally. Haha. It was quite fun :)

Yun lang. I dont have much time to blog now, but i just wanted to remember the day i learned this game.

Soulmates?

2008-03-01T22:17:00.001+08:00

One night, my friends and I had a long discussion about soul mates. My take was, you could have a soul mate and that would not necessarily be the one you should end up with. For me, a soul mate is someone that you have been connected with, are connected with, and will be connected with throughout your karmic cycles. The connection you feel is unexplainable, you just know that you are. It may be how you understand each other, how you can read each others minds, how you completely get each other, no matter how different you both are. You feel like you have known each other forever. For each life cycle, he/she is the constant, in different forms. I/m not sure what the purpose of this soul mate is, but personally, I think, everyone is given a soul mate for companionship – so that you are accompanied every time you are born into a life cycle.

My friend asked, “So are you saying that you could be in-love and married with someone and have a different soul mate?” My answer is yes.

That is why I believe that the person you should marry is the person you could not live without, in this life. A person you know you need and who needs you. A person you know will care for you and you would want to take care of. A person you CHOOSE to be a part of. A soul mate is just there for the connection, automatically, by way of default. You do not choose it. They are just there. You may not care for that person, or he/she may not care at all for you as well, but the connection will always be there.

What do you think?

Juno

2008-02-18T08:14:00.002+08:00

Watched JUNO with Paul over the weekend :-)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Juno MacGuff: I'm losing my faith in humanity.
Mac MacGuff: Think you can narrow it down for me?
Juno MacGuff: I guess I wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good.
Mac MacGuff: You mean like couples?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah, like people in love.
Mac MacGuff: Are you having boy troubles? I gotta be honest; I don't much approve of dating in your condition, 'cause well... that's kind of messed up.
Juno MacGuff: Dad, no!
Mac MacGuff: Well, it's kind of skanky. Isn't that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
Juno MacGuff: Please stop now.
Mac MacGuff: [persisting] Tore up from the floor up?
Juno MacGuff: Dad, it's not about that. I just need to know if it's possible for two people to stay happy together forever, or at least for a few years.
Mac MacGuff: It's not easy, that's for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I'm proud to say that we're very happy.
[Juno nods]
Mac MacGuff: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
Juno MacGuff: I sort of already have.

Lucky Date

2008-01-06T13:24:00.000+08:00

Our funny way of announcing our engagement to the world :-)
Click here.

Lucky date: Wedding frenzy on 08-08-08
By Tina Arceo-Dumlao
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 03:01:00 01/06/2008

MANILA, Philippines -- When childhood sweethearts Paul Alvarez and Sara Masakayan decided to get married, they chose a most auspicious date—Aug. 8, 2008.

2008

2007-12-28T16:55:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

Bestfriends?

2007-12-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

Today I watched the 8th episode of Grey’s Anatomy’s season 4. The title of the episode was Forever Young. The entire episode was about lives of different stereotypes of high school kids. It also talked a lot about high school best friends.

This episode struck me a lot because I used to have a high school best friend. Or so I thought I had. Anyway, after high school and that relationship, I started believing that a boy and a girl can never be really best friends. For lack of a better term, a high school boy and a high school girl would call themselves best friends only because they are not sure of what the other person really means to them during that time. One of them really thinks that they are just friends, but most probably the other feels more than that. Or both of them could be just confused. Either way, between a boy and a girl, the feeling of being best friends will never be mutual. It is just a convenient way for both of them to label the kind of confusing relationship that they have – so they can continue enjoying each other’s company without hurting the other.

10 years after high school and its still a mystery to me, how me and my so-called-best friend ended up like we never knew each other. Hence, I continue to believe that there is no such thing as a boy and a girl who are honest to goodness best friends. A reward for the person who can prove me wrong.

Anyways, for those who’ve had “best friends”, this one’s for you. I'm sure most of you out there will be able to relate.

New sofa

2007-11-14T07:54:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, we picked out a new sofa for our living room. Can you believe that we have not changed our sofa set for the last 30 years?

Anyways, this year, since my mom retired already and has more time on her hands to spend at home, we thought that this must be the best time to fix up and start re-decorating the house :-) We also bought a new Christmas tree!

It also just dawned on me that because I'm getting married next year and would be moving out already right after that, this might be the last Christmas i will be spending at home as someone who really lives there.

Dinners with Paul

2007-10-31T12:14:00.001+08:00

I just realized the other day that Paul and I eat dinner together every night -without fail.
I've taken this for granted because it has become part of our routine already, but now that i think about it, it has also become a bonding activity for us - not that we don't spend too much time with each other already :-)
Over dinner every night, we talk about our day and plan the next day. Sometimes, when we are just too tired, we just eat in silence, but i still find it comforting. It has become something that i look forward to and helps me get through each day.

Original Soundtrack

2007-04-27T09:48:00.000+08:00

Note: Moving this post from my other blog. Decided today that I'll just maintain this blog and delete the other :-)

I was organizing my iPod play lists the other day and I kept obsessing on how to categorize the songs. As I went through each song in my music library, a lot of memories came flooding back. I’m sure everyone of us has certain songs for certain moments of our lives. Songs that when you hear them, send an unexplainable almost nauseating feeling in your stomach, as you try to remember that particular scene in your life where that song played in your head – the volume slowly picking up, drowning the dialogues, the music takes you through a flash back of moments (whether you like it or not) – and as the song fades to an end, a bittersweet smile creeps on your lips, as you are brought back to the present… I thought I’d share with you some of the songs that make up the original soundtrack of the movie of my life :)

Track 1 – “Where is thumbkin?” (First day of nursery school, I cried because I was so afraid of the teacher-nuns. Also, my mom forced me to ride the school bus alone! After 3 days, I dropped out of nursery class, skipped the entire school year, and jumpstarted to kindergarten)

Track 2 – “Nothing’s gonna change my love for you by Glenn Medeiros” (My first crush :) I don’t know why this song reminds me of him – obviously I was too young at that time to actually understand the meaning of this song!)

Track 3 – “Footloose” (Performing on stage for our school’s foundation day, when I was in grade 2. I couldn’t forget it because the power went out at the height of the song where we were supposed to jump when Kenny Loggins shouts ‘Footloose!’– it was just so funny. And of course, it has taken a whole new meaning for me now, because my dance partner at that time is now the love of my life :) )

Track 4 – “Chiquitita” (Being a new student when I was in grade 4. One of my “new friends” sang like a nightingale, and she sang this song in a singing contest)

Track 5 – “Waterfalls by TLC” + “Melt Away by Mariah C” (Fast forward to high school, singing our hearts out during our late night Tagaytay misadventures, my friend Ivy drove their van without permission, without a license and without directions! – we didn’t even know how to get there)

Track 6 – “Out of reach by Gabrielle” (I had a guy friend in high school and our relationship was just so confusing… it went from nothing to something and back to nothing – still haven’t figured it out, but I guess that’s just the way its gonna be, and listening to this song has helped me accept that)

Track 7 – “Can I get a… by Jay-Z” (I used to be one of the boys and most days we spent driving around with no specific destination with the stereo blasting, our stomachs’ grumbling – haha – trying to get by and have fun on college allowance :) that was THE life)

Track 8 – “Heartbreaker by Mariah C” (I went out with this guy, when he just “dumped” his girlfriend, and I even felt a bit proud being the “new” girl – until the dice rolled again and before I knew it, I was the “new dumped” girl and there was a “newer girl.” But now when I think about it, I feel lucky being dumped, because now, I’m not just the “new girl” in someone else’s life – in fact, I’m THE girl! :) )

Track 9 – “Beautiful Ones by Suede” + “Feeling So Good by J.Lo” + “Best Days by Juice” (having had enough of riding in cars with boys and all the trouble and heartaches that came along with it, I was so happy to find my sanctuary in the loving arms of my bestest girlfriends)

Track 10 – “Need to be next to you by Leigh Nash” + “Hey look at the sun by Sergio Mendes/Sitti” + “Lets Stay Together by Al Green/BoyzIIMen” (Needless to say, the songs that remind me of my sweetie – Paul :) Songs that will probably play in the soundtrack of our wedding video! Haha :) But for now, we’re just happy singing these songs together even if we’re both off-key!)

These are just my favorites :) The complete song listing of my life’s soundtrack is a work in progress, as each new experience, each milestone or simply each day – is immortalized by a new song. If you’re interested in the lyrics of any of the songs I mentioned above, email me so I can send it to you. I’m also posting some of the actual songs on my multiply site so you can listen to them if you want :)

happy birthday old friend

2007-02-09T09:48:00.000+08:00

Last night i dreamt about an old friend. I woke up and realized that its his birthday today.
Its been years since we've drifted apart, and every year, i wish there was a way i could greet him on his birthday. There were years that i did find ways and was able to greet him, but it just didnt turn out right in the end. Year after year, i think to myself, maybe this year will be different, maybe we've grown up now and we'll be able to forgive and forget... Well, I guess we were really just meant to drift apart and i should just stop trying to reach out. So i know better now, and today only God will know that I thanked him for bringing my friend into this world.

just a girl

2007-01-24T08:07:00.000+08:00

When i graduated from highschool, one of my teachers wrote me a letter that said:
"You and the sun are alike, you are both going to shine no matter what."

I know i ought to be flattered, but sometimes i wish i could just keep hiding behind the clouds.

Sometimes, i feel like i just want to go unnoticed.

I'm tired of living up to peoples expectations, tired of keeping up.
I just want to blend in the crowd, and just be a girl in a bar...

Failures

2006-11-09T19:49:00.000+08:00

Note to self:

"Even the best fall down sometimes..." (Collide by Howie Day)

...and today i realized that its ok.